Remember where you came from. Think about where you’re going. But live right here where you are.
- Angelica Esposito
- Feb 16
- 3 min read
This idea captures something essential about how healing happens—especially in EMDR therapy. Healing is not about erasing the past or forcing yourself to “move on.” It is about helping your brain and nervous system fully process what was never given the chance to resolve.
The past lives in the nervous system
When something overwhelming happens—especially when you feel alone, unsafe, powerless, or unsupported—your brain may not fully process the experience. Instead of becoming an integrated memory, it remains stored in its original emotional form.
This means that the emotions, body sensations, and beliefs connected to that experience can remain active beneath the surface.
You may notice this when a present situation triggers a reaction that feels disproportionate. You might feel suddenly anxious, shut down, ashamed, or on alert, without fully understanding why.
This is not a sign of weakness.
It is a sign that your nervous system is still trying to protect you.
A part of your brain is responding as if the past is still happening now.
Remembering where you came from is not about staying stuck there. It is about allowing your brain to finally process what it could not process at the time.
Why the brain holds on to unprocessed experiences
Your brain’s primary role is survival, not comfort. When an experience feels overwhelming, the brain may store it in a fragmented way so you can continue functioning.
This is an adaptive response. It helps you cope in the moment.
But later, those unprocessed memories can continue to influence how you see yourself and the world. They can shape beliefs such as:
I am not safe
I am not good enough
I am powerless
I am not in control
These beliefs are not chosen consciously. They are the result of experiences that your nervous system has not yet had the opportunity to fully resolve.
EMDR therapy helps the brain return to those memories—while you remain anchored in the safety of the present—so they can finally be processed and integrated.
Healing happens in the present moment
This is why living in the present is so important.
The healing process does not happen in the past. It happens now.
In EMDR, your brain connects the past experience with the present reality: that you are here, that you survived, and that you have resources now that you may not have had then.
Over time, the nervous system begins to understand something new:
That was then. This is now.
The memory does not disappear. But it changes.
It becomes something you can remember without reliving.
The emotional intensity decreases.
The body no longer reacts in the same way.
The nervous system no longer needs to stay on constant alert.
The future begins to feel possible again
When the nervous system is no longer organized around protection from past threats, something else becomes available: choice.
You are no longer reacting automatically from old patterns.
You are able to respond from the present.
As healing progresses, new beliefs can emerge naturally:
I am safe now
I am capable
I can trust myself
I have options
This is how thinking about where you’re going becomes meaningful—not as pressure, but as possibility.
The future stops feeling like something to fear, and starts feeling like something you can participate in.
Living here is where freedom begins
You do not need to forget where you came from.
Your past is part of your story. It shaped you, and it helped you survive.
You can also hold a vision of where you are going. Growth and change are always possible.
But your life is not happening in the past or in the future.
It is happening here.
Right here, in your body.
Right here, in this moment.
Right here, where your nervous system can finally learn that it is safe enough to let go of what it no longer needs to carry.
Healing does not change what happened.
It changes how your brain and body hold the experience.
And from this place, you can move forward—not driven by the past, but guided by the present.
Ready to begin your healing process?
If you recognize yourself in these words, you don’t have to continue carrying this alone. EMDR therapy can help your brain process unresolved experiences so you can feel more grounded, present, and free in your daily life.
You can book a complimentary 15-minute consultation or schedule your first session here:
Healing is possible. And it begins right here.
Remember where you came from.
Think about where you’re going.
But live right here where you are.
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